Magazine Death Pool

RIP: Teen People 1998- 2006

Britney's got a kid and another on the way. Lindsay Lohan is pushing off Alec Baldwin's filthy paws. The Olsen twins left NYU and dropped off the face of the earth. And there's this thing that's called, uh, the Internet!

The Reaper can never get its fill of teen girls, so today I came for Teen People, or as the TV show "Friends" would have put it: The One That Started It All.

Teen girls have moved onto the gossip magazines, which are thriving, and instant messaging their friends, going to MTV.com, and anywhere on the web -- just not magazines anymore!

Another death knell for marketers reaching teen girls through print.

The Reaper left one teen magazine remaining, Teen Vogue, because Conde Nast won't pull the plug on anything with Anna Wintour's imprint on it too soon.

So climb into my boat, Teen People, you're going side by side with my collection of N'Sync, Backstreet Boys, 98 Degrees, and O Town records.

CORRECTION: Make that TWO teen magazines left -- Teen Vogue and CosmoGirl. Thanks for the posting. The Reaper sometimes has to shake the cobwebs out.

Elle Girl: RIP 2001-2006

Out of nowhere, Hachette Filipacchi Media US president & CEO "Jumpin'" Jack Kliger cuts off the oxygen supply of former Adweek Hot Lister Elle Girl. Teen girl slasher!

As the body floats by, on the way to a warmer place, we notice it still has a pulse. According to Ad Age, ad pages up 46% and circulation up 17.9%. Hey, who is this guy Kliger, Edgar Allan Poe burying a live person in cold blood?

Leave it to those wily Hachette folks to not blame anything, chalk it up to Kliger's "research on the teen market," and claim the property is moving to the web and wireless as part of a "redefined strategy!"