Samir Husni's 15 notable launches of the year make a good death wish list

Samir Husni, always the last man standing on the subject of magazine launches, has come out with his annual list of notable launches.

What's notable about these launches is their high mortality rate. Landing on Husni's list is often the kiss of death.

Does being "notable" mean you have a chance to avoid the breadline? Nah, it just means you got a lot of publicity. Seriously, that's the first criteria he mentions for the honors: how much publicity did the magazine generate?

After the legendary debacle of Talk magazine's Liberty Island launch party, you would think the University of Mississippi professor would not put much stock in publicity. But nope, it's all about being, uh, "notable." Okay, it's noted.

Another well-researched criteria to be Notable: "Was the magazine so bizarre it had to be included?"

Take a good long look at this list and ask yourself, how many of the magazines are going to be around in two years? Could you have put together the same list by going to the Barnes & Noble magazine stand, closing your eyes and throwing 15 darts and seeing what they landed on? I've featured some of the good professor's quotes about the titles and a few comments of my own.

* Food Network Magazine (Most Notable Launch of the Year, whatever that means)

* Afar ("It is definitely not your father’s travel magazine.")

* Blurt (“Here is another music magazine that ignores Top 40s and tries to tip the scales for lesser-known and independent groups." Isn't Paste the same magazine that's trying to raise money by begging its readers?)

* Cesar's Way ("This is just another magazine that needed to extend its brand from television to print to preach the message of the 'dog whisperer' across ink and paper the same it does on the pixels of the screen." It's... ma-a-a-agic!)

* Disney 23 ("Membership pays. Here is a magazine that knows its audience well enough to produce content exclusively for the huge Disney fans. In fact, it is so exclusive, that the fans have to shed $15.95 for every single issue." Does this have anything to do with that Jim Carrey movie and the mystical power the number 23 has?)

* Fresh Home ("The Reader’s Digest network overseas had a wealth of information just ripe for repurposing to better fit the American market.")

* Guitar Aficionado ("Guitar Aficionado does for guitars what Cigar Aficionado did for cigars.")

* Jacques ("a photo-driven, coffee table erotic publication")

* Mine ("This is one of the best examples of how technology will impact the future of print. Instead of killing print, technology is actually enhancing the printed product by helping the folks at Time, Inc. create a magazine especially for readers in its content and advertising." These two sentences just impacted the future of coherence.)

* Prestige ("Against all odds, amidst the worst economy in decades, yet another magazine tries to break into the upscale market in New York City. The folks at Prestige deserve notable status simply for the courage it takes to crack into this market." Noted. Now I hope you have very,very deep pockets.)

* Ranger Rick's Just For Fun (“Children don’t read, right? Apparently they do because new children’s magazines are launched year after year. At some point magazines like Just for Fun are going to finally debunk this terrible myth.")

* Rebel Ink ("These magazines aren’t just about tattoos any more, they are about the people who have them.")

* Sandra Lee's Semi-Homemade ("How many celebrity chefs can you take from the Food Network and create magazines around?")

* Barack Obama titles ("With the election of the first African-American president, the newsstands saw an explosion of an almost countless number of magazines centered on Barack Obama. The sheer volume of these titles and importance of this event in history makes these magazines notable.")

* Michael Jackson titles ("Magazines like these may be quick “one-night stand” titles that don’t bring in many return customers, but they still show the power of ink on paper.")

Comments

[Pj Perez]

Not surprisingly, I was on a radio show once with Samir on which he praised the magazine I edited at the time. Said magazine died six months later.

[Paul Riddell]

Damn. This is like getting a rave movie review from Harry Knowles. (You don't have to be psychic to tell that most of these titles are going to be gone in six months. You just have to figure that his enthusiasm overwhelms his analytical abilities, such as they are.)

[DavidBunt]

Thank you, THANK YOU for talking pot shots at Mr. Magazine. That guy is a bigger tool then The Rabbit (http://tinyurl.com/69pzoo). Who, oh who, declared this man an expert on this subject? Oh, I know: himself.

[Paul Riddell]

Oh, and considering his comments about Ranger Rick's Just For Fun? I just point out that Nick Magazine, the last of the grocery store stand kid's magazines, just put its last issue out. The folks at Nick did one hell of a job, and it's obvious that they really gave a damn about their magazine. The letter from the editor on the inside front cover is actually heart-wrenching, and I honestly hope that everybody involved gets good jobs at stable venues as quickly as possible.

Now back to the cynicism, I'm waiting for SyFy's house magazine to be the next casualty. Listen to Bill Hicks's notorious routine about watching "The Tonight Show With Jay Leno", and replace Leno with "Mansquito"-shilling SyFy VP Craig Engler. "With his brains spewing out forming the shape of the NBC peacock, because he's a company man to the bitter fucking end."

[Benn Ray]

To Blurt's defense, at least it doesn't have that creepy Christian angle that Paste has. At least, not that I've noticed.